Little J's BIRTH-day
I can remember it like it was yesterday. I woke to the feeling of an uncomfortable tightness in my belly, an all too familiar feeling as I had been having on-and-off contractions for weeks prior to this. Thinking it was nothing, I closed my eyes to try and fall back asleep. Just as I drifted off, there it was again, nothing too painful, but a sharp twinge. After about an hour of this same pattern, I decided to tell my mom that something was happening. We sat in her bed, watching movies in the middle of the night, waiting – waiting for the contractions to eventually stop or get worse. Either way, all we could do was wait. When the sun rose, I decided it was time to call Daddy B. I simply told him that I had been having contractions all night and that I was probably in labor. “Stay at work. I will call you if anything changes”. An hour later he was at my door. After having finished our birthing classes just days prior to this, it was still very fresh in my mind as to the steps we needed to take. We needed to wait until my contractions were five minutes apart. We decided to go for a walk. We walked to Kohl’s to buy some sweatpants for Daddy B so that he would be comfortable for what looked like a long night ahead. As we checked out, the cashier looked at me and said, “Wow! It looks like you are about to have a baby soon”. Daddy B and I looked at each other and laughed. “Yeah, today!” I said. He gave us a funny look as we left the store, still giggling. As we began our walk home, we would stop after every few strides for me to squeeze his hand. The pain was increasing more and more and the contractions were inching closer together. We knew it was time. I had remained extremely calm up until this point, but as we arrived at home and Daddy B went to grab my hospital bag, I began to cry. I’m sure it was a combination of hormones, stress, pain, fear and happiness, but in that moment I knew that when I walked back through that door again, it would be with a baby. Life as I had previously known it would never be the same again.
When we arrived at the hospital and checked in with the nurse in labor and delivery, she guided us into a small room. She asked me when I was due. “Actually, today!” I said with with a smile. How insane is that? If I deliver before midnight, this baby will actually be born on its due date! She looked at me in disbelief and she flipped through my chart. She explained that I would stay in this room for a little bit to see if I was going to deliver a baby today. After about an hour of monitoring and questioning, the nurses decided that I was in fact in labor and that it was time to move me to my final, much larger room. It would be in this room where I would eventually meet my baby for the first time.
7 hours after arriving in this room and nearly 22 hours after I was awakened in the night by my first contraction, it was finally time. At 8:29 pm, the most precious beautiful baby boy was placed in my arms. I was immediately in love. In that moment all of the pain went away, everyone around us disappeared, the noise of the shuffling nurses subsided and I kissed my son for the first time on his perfect little forehead. I looked into his big blue eyes staring up at me, and the tears came pouring. This amazing little creature who had been growing inside of me for the past 9 months, kicking me and squirming inside of me, was finally in my arms. This is what happiness feels like. This is what perfection looks like.
Over the past 4 ½ years, so much has changed, but one thing remains the same. I am so blessed to be the mother of this incredibly energetic, hilarious, imaginative, sweet little boy. On this Mother’s Day I will probably be awoken by his little finger poking me in my arm. I will probably turn over and grumble a little because I am certain it will be very early. But when I hear a sweet little voice saying, “Mommy, Mommy!” I will smile, because that word coming out of his mouth is the sweetest sound I will ever hear!
Happy Mother’s Day to all of the incredible mothers out there, especially to my amazing mother from whom I have learned to mother my son the way she has mothered me. I would not be the person I am today without her. I love you, Mom!