Thank You, 2020

It’s been Real. It’s been Fun. It’s been Real Fun.  

As I sit here trying to remember what I was doing on New Year’s Eve just one year ago, I can’t seem to recall because it truly feels like it was actually 10 years ago. I think I was excited? Skipping into the roaring 20s with big plans! Lose weight, get healthy and into shape, pay off debt, travel, go to concerts, spend more time with friends and family, etc, etc. The world was my oyster. Nothing and I mean nothing could have convinced me that we would end up living in this alternate reality that we would soon learn to call 2020.

Around the second week of January, we received the news that my husband was being laid off from his job. First hit. To say that we were stressed and scared would be an understatement. Not to mention, heartbroken. This is a job that he had worked countless hours for, put blood sweat and tears into, sacrificed family time for over the last eight years and poof! Just like that, it all meant nothing. He immediately put his best foot forward though and started looking for a new job. Within only a couple of weeks he was offered two really great positions. Now the hard part came down to choosing the best one for him and for our family. After lengthy discussions, several pros and cons lists and measuring of gut feelings, he made a decision and was due to start his new job in the beginning of March. Oh, we see you, 2020, but you aren’t going to get us like this.

Enter March. Husband starts new job. I’ve maintained my goals of losing weight and getting into shape. In fact, up to this point I’ve lost 20 pounds, I’m running farther than I’ve ever run before and I’m feeling better than I’ve felt in a very, very long time. My job is secure. Little J is getting ready to start playing soccer for his school and is beyond excited. We are hearing a little about this new virus going around, but it doesn’t seem like it could affect us. Things are looking up. Ok, 2020, we’ve got this.

Oh wait. Enter mid-March. Remote learning – what’s that? Zoom? Never heard of it. Toilet paper? Can’t find it. That virus that we’d heard some ramblings about? Turned out that it actually could affect us in a really, really big way. I remember hearing that Italy had completely shut down and I thought that there was absolutely no way that would ever happen here at home. Wrong. I was being sent home from work to work remotely “for the next three to four weeks”. Restaurants, schools, stores all being closed. What in the actual heck is going on? Alright, 2020, $h!* just got real.

Apparently we were naïve to think that we would be back to school after Spring Break or that this whole WFH thing would only last a few weeks. At this point, virtual happy hours have become a regular and quite honestly, necessary thing. Amazon is showing up at our house almost daily and curbside grocery pickup is my new favorite thing. Don’t even mention takeout. Why, all of a sudden, do we need so much takeout? Oh yeah, we are supporting local businesses – of course. (Subsequently that is what we will keep telling ourselves for the next nine months). When we do actually leave our home, I cannot get used to seeing everyone in masks. The severity and sadness of this virus is becoming more and more real. Depression is sinking in. Showers have become less frequent. Traveling anywhere seems to be a far off dream. Concerts are definitely not a thing. Getting out of debt has been put on hold because we are pinching every extra penny that we have. If we’ve learned anything, it’s uncertainty, and we can’t take any chances. I miss my family. I miss real life happy hours. I miss date nights. I miss jeans and makeup and doing my hair in any other form than a messy bun. I miss actually going into the grocery store and having endless options to choose from, coming home with all of the items that were on my list and then some. I miss normalcy.

Now, I can go on and on about everything that 2020 took from us. We’ve all had our own experiences. We all have our own feelings and ways of dealing with it all, but I’m choosing a different perspective. While this past year has been far from perfect, for me at least, there has been a lot of good that has come from it. The job that my husband lost back in January happened to be the best thing that could have happened. He lost it at just the right time because had he lost it a month later, he would probably still be unemployed today. He is happier than I have seen him in years. A weight has been lifted off his shoulders. We see him more and our family is better off. I have had the opportunity to spend nearly every single day of the last nine months with Little J. He is thirteen and in middle school, and if I remember anything about being thirteen and in middle school, it was that I was rarely home and my parents were probably the last people I wanted to hang out with. I would be a fool not to soak up every minute that I’ve had with him. I won’t get this time back. I lost thirty pounds and kept it off. I am in the best shape of my life, I like what I see when I look in the mirror and I feel better – both physically and mentally – than I’ve felt maybe ever before. Our little family has spent so much of our time outdoors, going for daily walks, playing at the park and taking advantage of the beautiful state that we live in, hiking nearly every weekend through the Spring and Summer. We’ve maintained our health. We’ve managed to keep a steady income through all of this and put food on the table. We’ve enjoyed the simplicity of life, the slow pace and the quality time spent together. We’ve learned who is essential. And personally, I’ve learned what really is important in this crazy adventure called life.

So, thank you, 2020. Thank you for the experiences you’ve given me, both good and bad. Thank you for the lessons I’ve been forced to learn. Thank you for the people who have showed up day in and day out to make sure that we stay healthy, safe and fed – our nurses, doctors, hospital staff, scientists, delivery drivers, grocery workers, restaurant staff, the list goes on and on. Thank you for the teachers, principals, superintendents and school staff going above and beyond to ensure that no matter what, our kids are being educated. Thank you for solid friendships that have survived and thrived in this virtual world. Thank you for technology. Thank you for perspective.

I know I won’t wake up tomorrow in a new year with a switch flipped and a perfect world, but I do know that having survived this past year, I will wake up armored to take on anything this next year wants to throw at me. There is a dim light at the end of this dark tunnel and I can’t wait to reach it. The world is still my oyster. The plans, in essence, are the same, but are so much more meaningful this time around.  I look forward to concerts and travel. I look forward to dine-in eating and movies in a theater. I look forward to more of the same of this year – quality time outdoors with my little family. And most of all, I’d have to say that I look forward to sitting around dinner tables filled with my big, crazy family. I look forward to hugs, so many hugs. At the end of the day, that is what matters most – the big crazy families and all the little things.

So, bring it, 2021. Just be little nicer than your predecessor, ok?

Wishing you and all those you love a New Year filled with health, happiness and all the little things that make the big things that much better. Cheers!